14 But as for me, I will hope continually,
And will praise You yet more and more.
15 My mouth shall tell of Your righteousness
And of Your salvation all day long;
For I do not know the sum of them.
16 I will come with the mighty deeds of the Lord God;
I will make mention of Your righteousness, Yours alone.
~ Psalm 71:14-16 (NASB)
I was not a believer. I was pregnant with my first son, Preston, due to be born January 11th, 2014. It was six months into my marriage that was quickly crumbling to ashes. On October 8th, 2013, I had Preston… 3 months early at 26 weeks gestation and 2.2 pounds.
The week of Thanksgiving 2013 was my breaking point. Due to repeated unfaithfulness, I fell into deep depression where distrust and anxiety settled in. I didn’t eat, care for bodily needs, pump, or visit Preston in the NICU.
God knows and it was at my lowest point when I accepted Him into my life. Miraculously, with no contact or communication, my husband also accepted Christ and gave his life to the Lord. This was extremely difficult for me. I knew through the love I tangibly felt that God was real, He loved me, and loved my husband with the same love.
I felt in my heart, the truth.
Nevertheless, bitterness raged inside. I dove deep into the Word and longed for the peace and joy that I was reading and hearing about. Yet I didn’t understand the Word, nor how to apply what I read. What impacted me to let go of my animosity began with understanding forgiveness, and love.
I needed to forgive my husband and myself. “For if you forgive others when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your father will not forgive your sins.” – Mathew 6:14-15.
I needed to love my husband. “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.” – 1 Peter 4:8
Other verses of influence: John 4:19, Acts 3:19, Psalm 39:7, Psalm 37:27-28, Proverbs 2:3.
Since then, my husband and I have been bounding in Christ, seeing the miracles God has worked in our children and circumstances. He is so good, and is now and ever will be my center.
Tiffany Morely writes about life as a mommy and faith at Doing in Faith.
Carol’s Story: Finding Contentment
To my delight, this year my husband put up a “house” bird feeder and a suet feeder outside of our double glass door leading to the backyard. As a result, I have the joy of watching our many visitors, such as chickadees, nuthatches, goldfinches, and a variety of woodpeckers. I have even seen a pileated woodpecker trying to peck out his share of food. My favorite bird to watch is the red-bellied woodpecker; the male shows off a bright red cap and a pink belly. He swoops in like superman to fetch his suet and sunflower seeds. All of these birds are an image of contentment. Matthew 6: 26 states, “Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” The birds simply gather at the feeders, take their seeds and fly back to their nests. They are not worried about which bird has the better nest or who flies the fastest. They continue their work whether the sun is shining bright or the wind and snow is blowing around them.
This is an illustration for me as I go through treatment for my cancer of the blood, Multiple Myeloma. I do not have to spend my time being frustrated because I do not have the energy like I once did, when I was healthier. One year when my husband and I worked in our Christian school in New York, I had three part-time jobs, doing secretarial duties, working with a reading program and teaching a couple of classes in English. To say the least, I was active, and I found much joy and accomplishment in this. Now, I have to balance each day. I do what I can, pray often and rest as well in between. I cannot evaluate my work by what I have done like I once did. I have learned to place my day’s objectives in the Lord’s hands. The Lord will help me do what is needful, and my satisfaction can be placed in Him and not on my own accomplishments.
I Timothy 6:6 says, “Now godliness with contentment is great gain.” I sometimes feel like these birds. I am busy but in different ways than my active days of good health. I am content in His provision and satisfied with serving Him as He sees to direct. I am content in the quietness of my treatment, knowing He knows what is best whether the sun is shining brightly and I feel like taking on a few projects or when the harsh winter winds of treatment bring on a quiet day on the couch with an afternoon nap and reading a good book. My Heavenly Father is right with me and has it all within His hands.